


What Do You Want From Me?

by StonyAvengerGirl16 (CharmedBritannia)



Series: Lovely Imbalances [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Basically everyone's protective, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Pepper, Protective Rhodey, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 03:24:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3962617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharmedBritannia/pseuds/StonyAvengerGirl16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a few months since Steve and Tony became a couple. They were happy, their relationship was thriving, and everything seemed perfect.</p><p>Until they found Bucky.</p><p>Tony starts to feel like he's being replaced.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Do You Want From Me?

\----

 Tony was done.

 

He had tried, and tried, but his heart couldn't take it anymore.

 

He focused on welding the suit to ignore the breaking of his heart.

\---

For the last four months, he had been in a relationship with Steven Grant Rogers.

 

After a lot of pushing from everyone he knew, and pulling from Steve, he had stupidly challenged the universe and became Captain America's sweetheart.

 

Like a fucking moron.

 

He had told everyone that he wasn't supposed to have nice things. That the universe would kick his ass if he tried. They had all just wrote if off as daddy issues and trust issues and a shit ton of other issues that he couldn't and wouldn't elaborate on. And like a naive son-of-a-bitch, he had assumed that when he took the first step and nothing blew up, that there was no minefield. 

 

He should've listened to his self-conscious, damnit. It new better.

\-----

They found James "Bucky" Barnes.

 

Well, more like he showed up at their doorstep, rigid and paranoid, but no longer brainwashed.

 

His arm was damaged, his suit torn, and was dirty as hell, but he was there. Steve had lit up like a Christmas tree, bear-hugged him, and looked like he would start crying any second.

 

He supposed that's when it started.

\-----

He hadn't known whether it was his faith in Steve or his own desperation that kept him there. But he allowed it to go on for _weeks,_ and he was calling it quits. 

 

He knew that it was his chilhood friend. The act that haunted his nightmares wasn't true. He wasn't alone in this new era (though he thought that he was helping with that).

 

So he played nice. He repaired his arm, made him a nice apartment, and allowed Steve to reconnect with him. 

 

But damn.

 

It was like he never had time for him anymore. They couldn't go out for dinner or lunch because he wanted to show Bucky around. He woke up extra early so he could do morning workouts with Bucky. Hell, he wasn't ever there when he got back from a business trip because he had used the time to hang out with Bucky. 

 

Steve, _Captain America_ , had broken his promise.

 

When Tony had stepped onto this fucking minefield, he had promised that he would be fine. That he would be there for him. That he wouldn't leave Tony to stumble like so many others have. That he could follow him, and be led to safety. 

 

_"There's no reason to be afraid, sweetheart. No one is gonna hurt you ever again, not if I can help it."_

 

What a crock of shit. He had let go of him so fast that Tony hadn't even had time to brace himself against the cold, hard ground. He guessed he wasn't good enough for America's golden boy. He was right all along.

 

He tried to get angry, but all he could muster was sadness and hurt.

\------

Steve had been upset when he broke it off.

 

He had always had an open, expressive face, but this one had taken the cake. He seemed to cycle through shock, disbelief, hurt (hah), and confusion. He hadn't even allowed him to say anything, or looked at him, because he new one look into the baby-blues and an earnest apology and he would wind up right back where he'd started.

\------

He called Pepper.

 

Since he had been sober for a long while, and couln't bring himself to give that up, he'd called her because he knew she would listen. She'd let him feel vunerable in a safe place that wasn't the bottom of a bottle.

\------

She was pissed to say the least.

 

He had laid down on the couch in his penthouse, head on her lap. She'd called Rhodey, who stormed through his door in a blaze of fury. Following him were Clint, Bruce, and Natasha, all looking at him softly. His instincts told him to clam up, that there were too many people to see his weak spots, but because Pepper was Pepper and therefor knew about his instincts, she ran her fingers through his hair, and told him to relax. He fell asleep shortly afterwards.

\------

He awoke from his nap feeling more human then he did before. Everyone had settled down in front of his TV, and looked to him when he stirred. He smiled at them. It wasn't his media smile, or even his realistic smile. It was a simple upturn of lips that said 'thank you' and 'I'm kind of alright' at the same time.

\----

He showered, and was about to head to the workshop. He heard a knock on the door, and thinking one of them had left something, he gave an absent-minded wave to let JARVIS open the door.

 

"Hey, what did you leave-"

"It's me."

 

He didn't even stiffen or hesitate.

 

"Get the fuck out, Captain."

"But, Tony-"

 

He turned. He watched Steve grimace. Tony would have smirked if he wasn't in front of him. Steve had told him once. Aggression, he could handle. But when his words where a sharp and quick as a Japanese blade, and his eyes like dry-ice, he didn't know what to do. And there wasn't anything he could do. He was done challenging the universe. If those two wanted each other, he would step out of the equation. There was no reason to fight for something that wasn't supposed to be your's in the first place.

"I just want to know what I did wrong, so I can fix it-"

"It's not what you did, it's what you didn't do. And there's not a goddamn thing you _can_ do to fix it. I'm cutting this damn thing off. Let it wilt, Captain. It's already dead."

 

Steve looked wrecked as hell, but for the first time in months, Tony didn't give a shit.

\-----

A knock on the glass of his workshop brought him out of his engineering zone. He cursed in frustration, but had Jarvis lower the music anyway. 

 

"Who is it, JARVIS?"

"It is Mr. Barnes, sir."

 

He sighed in frustation. As much as he wanted to cut him out of his life as well, he couldn't bring himself to let the guy's arm deteriorate. So he kept the maintanence sessions as short and silent as he could.

 

"Let him in, then."

\-----

He was in the middle of fixing a dent where the shoulder met the arm when Bucky spoke up. This was rare. He may have given short answers, or made comments here and there, but he never initiated a conversation.

 

"I miss the old ways."

 

Tony raised a skeptical eyebrow.

 

"What are you talking about?"

"This. It used to be...calming."

"Calming?"

"Yes. Hydra was never gentle with the arm. It caused great pain, but they ignored it; found it unnecessary to be cautious."

 

He had been looking downwards as he spoke, but met Tony's eyes.

 

"You were gentle. You always asked if I was alright. The way you touched, the way you spoke, it was so tender and soothing that I felt completely at ease. This became my favorite place; by your side."

 

Tony's other eyebrow lifted to match the other.

 

"Don't let Rogers hear that. I'm pretty sure he's claimed _his_ side to be your favorite place."

"He is a memory. He lays behind a curtain; a curtain that I must forcibly move in order to fit into the world he expects. With you, there are no expectations. Despite the wrong I have done you, you have not caused me the pain and suffering I deserve. You have brought me only good memories. I wish for those memories to remain untainted."

 

Tony was about to snark about how  not everyone's wishes came true, damnit, when Steve walked in.

 

What the fuck, universe?

 

Steve looked at Bucky, then at Tony, and visibly shrank. Tony felt a pang of sympathy before he shushed it.

 

"Captain. I don't hear any alarms, so there's no emergency. Please leave if there's not."

 

Steve then did something that he never did no matter the situation.

 

He dropped to his knees.

 

Tony didn't know what to do. He'd never seen Steve this depressed. Even after a nightmare, or visiting his old teamates graves, he never broke down like this. But he had fallen to the floor, tears rolling down his cheeks.

 

"Please, just listen Tony. I'm awfully sorry. I know what I did was inforgivable. I know that I had done what you feared most. I pushed you aside. I was so caught up with my past that I turned my back on the present. I couldn't even see what I was doing to you, and I broke the promise I made; that you could trust me always. But, I'm begging you on my knees, to please give me an inkling of a chance. Just a little bit of hope. I know there's no reason to, but...I can't lose you. You're the love of my life. Past, present, future, it doesn't matter."

 

Tony had hesitantly walked forwards. He laid his hand on the mop of blonde hair that was usually so neat, saw the dark circles that shouldn't even exist. 

 

"I can't sleep when my bed is empty. I can't eat when I know you're not. The nightmares haunt me, all alone, and I lost the right to comfort you after your's."

 

Steve grabbed his hand, grip iron-tight as if he was trying to hold onto a ghost.

 

"I tried so hard and waited so long for you, Tony. It was a miracle you even looked my way. And I know I don't deserve it, but all I want is a sliver of hope. Just a small piece. Please Tony. I'm alone in the very worst way."

 

Despite his best efforts, a small spark of feeling that he'd been trying to stifle grew. It wasn't as large as it used to be, but it was undeniably there. He peeked over his fortress walls, but didn't lower the drawbridge. He would have to climb this time.

 

"I'll...give you a chance. A small fucking chance, but a chance nonetheless."

 

Steve looked like he didn't believe what he was hearing. But then he lit up like the sun through the clouds, and grabbed him into the tighest hug he could. His feet left the ground at some point, and he wrapped his arms around his Captain's neck.

 

But he wasn't finished yet. He patted Steve's back to get him to let go. Steve reluctantly did so, but held his hand like he was a hallucination that would disappear if he let go. He turned and walked over to Bucky. He shrank back, like he was trying to become one with the chair.

 

But this man, however broken, had been growing steadily closer to his heart as time went on. This man who had given whispered insights into his mind while at his most vulnerable; trusting him completely, and in return listened to Tony's ramblings without judgement. He grabbed his flesh hand as well. Both men looked at each other, almost sizing the other up. Tony just huffed and pulled them both closer, sighing in contentment as two supersoldiers wrapped him in a protective cocoon.

\------

"Fuck no."

 

Steve, bless his heart, was sitting across from Rhodey, completely still. He had just told them that he had begged for forgiveness, and that Tony had given it to some extent. Rhodey had promptly made his opinion known, while Pepper had just looked on (though Tony knew from experience that that look was one she gave when she was consider stabbing them in the eye with her stiletto).

 

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't get the suit and beat the super serum shit out of you."

"There isn't one."

"So why the fuck-"

"Because you'd have to kill me. As long as there is breath in my lungs, I will fight for Tony. You want to stop me, you'd have to kill me."

 

Rhodey looked like he was considering it, and Tony put his gaze towards Bucky, who was being threatened in a low tone from Natasha and Clint. Natasha was the one talking in hissed Russian while sharpening her knives, while Clint had his bow with an arrow notched facing the ground, ready to be used.

 

Bruce had stayed in the kitchen with Tony out of pure fear for his beloved tower.

\--------

After that session (and Rhodey did in fact punch _"Captain America in the face, really Rodhey? Really?"_ ), Tony pressed the button to go up to his floor. He raised an eyebrow, before pulling both awkward puppies into the elevator. He stopped at their floor. 

 

"You will be staying with me. Both of you, showers. You smell like ass. I expect you up there in twenty minutes or you're locked out. I've had a long ass day, and desire cuddles. Clock's ticking."

 

It was almost humorous how quickly they got out of the elevator, and he could hear arguing over who showered first.

\-----

It was ten minutes later that they both came through the door (at the same fucking time, if they broke his door). He grabbed their hands again, and led them to bed. He had Steve sit down so he could examine the black eye Rhodey gave him (already starting to fade), and checked Bucky's arm to make sure that the skin where it met metal wasn't inflammed (it wasn't). 

 

He then put Steve on his left and Bucky on the right, before crawling between them. He shifted until he was comfortable, placed a kiss on both foreheads, and laid down. Bucky immediately threw his metal arm around Tony's hips (it was fine, it was actually heated a little, so it was toasty), while Steve threw his arm over his chest. He had the feeling that they were staring at each other again, and snuffled. 

 

Whatever. As long as they were quiet. He was going to bed.

\------


End file.
